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3 Reasons a "Perpetual Student" Mindset Is Vital to Kink

Keeping the mindset of a "perpetual student" ensures we are open to the gifts education has to offer to our community and us. Here's why maintaining a "perpetual student" outlook is so important to kink, both in our personal lives and in the community.

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Setting Goals

No matter how you go about it, setting realistic goals and then working towards success is a step by step process. You have the tools available to make changes in your life if you want them. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Treat them like anything else in your life worth doing and you can make it. Use the resources below to make the progress stick.

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A Lesson in Control with Self-Punishment

Every submissive I know, including myself, hate to get into trouble, but it's going to happen. We have to admit that there will be times of backsliding, pushing limits and general disobedience in our learning. It's a part of growth. Don't think of punishment as something bad, but as something to help us grow inward.

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The Question of Aftercare: What is It, Do You Need It and How to Ask For It (And Get It)

Aftercare is an elusive beast. Sometimes I need it and sometimes I'd rather be left alone. I'm never very sure which mood I'll be in when we begin playing but aftercare is always on standby because I take what happens in scene very hard. It goes with my very emotional self.

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Halloween - A Good Time to Let Your Kink Out

When was the last time you saw an adult dressed up as a naughty school girl, nurse, biker or mad scientist? Why Halloween parties most likely! Did you ever stop to think about whether that person was just dressing in costume or portraying a playful kink of theirs? Sure we hear on the news of yet another young couple walking onto a public bus collared and leashed but most of us don't let your kinks out in public.

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Perspectives: Erotic Spanking

Erotic spanking. It is probably the most common kinky play activity and is done in a lot of relationships that may know nothing about kink at all to those who are extremely kinky. It’s just a hot thing to do during sex. I was being spanked long before I entered the scene. I hope that I never stop being spanked.

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Never Say Never: Overcoming Hard Limits

When absolute trust is present, and the dominant is interested and experienced in helping to overcome fears and phobias, working through hard limits can be very empowering.

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Little Known Ways We Experience Sub Space

Sub space is a real thing. It does happen and there are many ways you can reach sub space, experience sub space and come out of sub space. And there are people that don't reach sub space. That doesn't make you any less of a submissive, not at all. It just means you experience things differently.

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After the Scene is Over - Clean-up, Aftercare, and Check-Ins

Submissive Guide has a lot of resources on clean up, aftercare and check-ins that get lost in the archives. I've pulled together what I have here, as well as all over the web to make this a comprehensive post for all things "after the scene". Bookmark it, share it, use it.

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Feeling Unfulfilled: Do My Sexual Needs Not Matter in a D/s Relationship?

I find myself resentful that, mostly, sex involves his orgasms and not mine. Do I need to accept that my pleasure is not a consideration in our relationship?

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