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The Basics of Negotiating a BDSM Scene

Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.

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Introducing BDSM to Your Partner

It is a scary proposition to approach your partner who may be oblivious to your new desires about wanting to add a bit or a lot of kink to your relationship. Whatever they decide it’s up to you on how you proceed. If they want to give it a try – go ahead! If they are far from interested you still have avenues available to you. It doesn’t automatically mean the end of the relationship.

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BDSM Checklists

If you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.

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Up in Flames: The Basics of Fireplay

There is a wide variety of activities you can learn that are part of Fire Play, but first, make sure you understand the risks. Fire is dangerous. We learned that as children. Know what you are doing before you start applying it to your skin as a part of BDSM play. Once you know, check out all the things you can do with it!

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Stress in Play with Predicament Bondage

Predicament bondage can be simple or complex and playful or painful. It relies on the skill and evil imagination of the Dom/me to set up a position where your body is essentially going to punish itself. Picture your Dom/me pulling your hair to lower you to the ground. The hair pull is a simple illustration of a stressor. If you don’t lower yourself, you will be in pain.

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Why BDSM and Sex are Not Always Connected

Sure it may turn you on, but you still get to decide how far you go to care for that. After all, BDSM is about exchanging sensations and exploring your body's responses to stimulus. It is not always sex.

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Kink and Mental Health: Temporary Relief

I won't pretend kink's a magic cure-all, and I sure as hell won't suggest it's a cure for OCD, but it does help mine when it comes to M.

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31 Days of Submissive Journaling: Day 24 – Scene Reports: How they can Empower Your Playtime

A scene report is a written account of the who, what, when, where, why's of playtime. Explore why you might want to keep track of the scenes you've been in through journaling.

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What Should I Try Next: Like Service-based Play? Try Serving Others

If it pleases you like it pleases me to serve your Partner, consider adding service based play that involves other consenting parties. Adding things like hosting parties, formal tea parties or D/s dinners can make you feel good about offering your service.

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What Should I Try Next: Like Role Play? Try Medical Play!

A great way to push the envelope in role play is by trying out medical play. Medical play lends itself so easily to BDSM. You can include bondage (stirrups, anybody?), massively amplify power roles (doctor taking advantage of patient is so taboo), and include new elements of sado-masochistic play.

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