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Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better

As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?

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Adding Rules in a D/s (or M/s) Relationship

Adding rules to a dynamic, whether for the first time or continuing a list is not easy.

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The New Bottoming Book

All in all, I find the book very basic in it's explaining what bottoming is and how to start on that path. Certainly recommended for the novice this book can help shed the nervousness and dispel the fantasy of play.

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You Aren't Doing It Right - Dealing With Criticism From Others

So what I'd like you to take from this is that when you give advice, keep it open minded. It is possible to learn a new way to do something that you never though possible. Everyone has a unique take on their life and their love of BDSM and D/s.

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How To Use Mind Mapping To Pinpoint Your Ideal Submission

There are 3 things I'd like to focus on in this post. What your ideal relationship is, the structure you'd like to have and the level of protocol you dream of having. This works for kinky bedroom relationships and also full-time dynamics. Get out pen and paper because what we are going to do is make a map of our ideal relationship.

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But My Partner is Vanilla...: Three Options Available To You When Your Partner Isn't Kinky

So you've discovered kink and want to try some things out. You talk to your partner about it. Unfortunately, no matter how you suggest things to your partner they aren't interested. With that knowledge, you have only a few options.

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Altered Submissive Speech - Thoughts and Ideas on How to Implement Third Person Speech and other Protocols

In all situations, altering speech and writing is to do an important task of reminding the person that they are not in control of themselves, which includes their speech. They are asked to use deference in situations that call for it and even to learn a new way to talk to keep them in the role.

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Keys to a Successful Relationship-It's All About Communication

I know that communication in the lifestyle is one of those topics that are constantly talked about, but I believe that’s because a lot of people don’t truly understand the importance of communication and how easily a relationship can turn sour if there is a breakdown in communication.

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Ideas for Discreet Punishment

He's hesitant to continue the discussion on rules he would like for me to follow due to the fact that punishment for these rules would be hard due to lack of privacy. Any suggestions about discreet punishments?

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Finding Your Dominant: Dating when BDSM is Something You Need

Some great tips for getting started searching for a compatible partner when BDSM is a need in your life.

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