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Collars and Collaring

A collar symbolizes your commitment and quite often your love and devotion to the Dominant. A collar for submissives is one of the most fundamental symbols of their relationship and one that is usually guarded and protected with their heart.There are no right or wrong ways to be collared. They can be formal or informal. They can be private or in front of a group of your friends and “family”. For those of you who wish to plan a more formal celebration, there are many things to consider.

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For Male Submissives

While this site is predominantly written by and for female submissives, a lot of what we write about can apply to male submissives too. But there are topics that are specific to male submissives and relationships where the male is submissive and we’ve curated them into a single collection for you here.

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Strengths and Misconceptions of Kajira

The Gorean lifestyle actually allows women to be women and men to be Men. I am a woman, quite categorically female and I am a completely different creature of the human species type to Men, I am softer in nature, more emotional, curvier and more able to love unconditionally. Gor allows me to be true to my nature and to myself.

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Don't Be a Shelf-Sitter

Shelf-sitting is when you are expected to “turn off” being a submissive and only be the submissive when the Dominant asks for it.

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Is Your Heart Truly In It? - Fulfilling Submission Needs Desire

Submission does not have to be full-time. It doesn't even have to be in the same room. But it does have to fill a need inside of you and when done right should fill you up and reaffirm your choices.

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Male Submission – Selfishness

Many male subs portray themselves through their own words that they are selfish in that they do not actually care what a potential dominant partner wants or needs.

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Expectations of a Collar: How Ready Are You to Accept One?

When do you know you are ready for a collar? What's the value in a collar really? And how can you get one?

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Submissive Mythology: The Good Submissive

All forms of submission are unique and personal expressions of your best self. You can take lessons and go through training to learn how to be a better you.

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Article

The False Comfort of Labels on Our Personal Identity in Kink

We allow ourselves to become trapped within the created labels of others we are essentially accepting an external level of control or entrapment. Becoming comfortable and accepting of yourself is when you will find your personal strength and internal peace.

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Article

When Fantasy Collides with Reality: Weighing Expectations when Exploring Kink Fantasies

Unrealistic expectations and desires are some of the most difficult challenges faced by those who are experienced in the lifestyle when dealing with those just entering the lifestyle. In many ways we each buy into a particular ‘aspect’ of the fantasy. Yet over and over people try to implement the impossible.

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