When you start doing your own self-work, or self-coaching, you may be surprised how your priorities reorganize themselves when you start focusing on your needs instead of your wants. Your needs are healthy and have a right to be met.
Read The Article | Find SimilarNegotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.
Read The Article | Find SimilarDo dominant women like this, that or the other thing? Unfortunately, there is no one set of ideal submissive traits that can be emulated. Indeed, if you ask these questions of twenty different Dominas, you’ll get at least twenty different answers. Each Dominant has her own idea of what makes a perfect submissive or slave. Some like youth and physical fitness, others like maturity and experience, tall or short, eloquent or not-so-much, pain slut or light-weight, sissy or not, emotive or the strong/silent type… well, as you can imagine, that list goes on and on. The problem, as I see it, is that too many (prospective) submissives get bogged down in trivial matters when they should be focusing on simple truth and sincerity.
Read The Article | Find SimilarFor a novice submissive exploring SM, a checklist can open up a world of fantasies or scare you right back into your light kink and rough sex. Checklists are not meant to scare you or overwhelm you, but I've seen lists that are more like lists of all sorts of rare fetishes and extreme play that only a few ever explore. Why you would want or need that on a novice checklist is beyond me.
Read The Article | Find SimilarAs a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?
Read The Article | Find SimilarOnce you have your list worked out and are satisfied with how important it is for you to have these needs met, it's time to express them. Not only will it keep your submissive transparent, but it will provide you with information on your partner's wants and needs. Needs lists are not negotiable. You shouldn't settle and you should never have someone convince you that your needs aren't important.
Read The Article | Find SimilarI told my Dom I needed more to do, as far rules, responsibilities etc.. what are some good things for me to do?
Read The Article | Find SimilarWhat is your view concerning the care, direction, and contact of Dominants w/their subs?
Read The Article | Find SimilarWhen people ask me what a D/s relationship is like, my first thought is that it is 'like any other relationship,' but that's not entirely accurate. Let me tell you what the common misconceptions are and then we can talk about the reality of a D/s relationship. You may be surprised to learn that they aren't as foreign as you think.
Read The Article | Find SimilarI'll help you figure out what to have on your profile to help you get the attention you want and how to handle the attention you don't want.
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