This is a guest post by DeliciousVixen.
As submissives, we sometimes face difficult circumstances with our Dominants. If you add being a submissive and being polyamorous into one dynamic, you just raised the bar. My Daddy has three other women that he has intimacies with. He must split his time evenly between all of us, and makes every attempt to be fair. All of us girls love our Daddy so much, and we love each other like sisters.
However, difficulties arise within our poly family, just like any other family. One of the biggest issues? Jealousy. I can be alone on a certain night and realize that Daddy is loving another at that moment. I feel these emotions rise within me, feelings of uncertainty and loneliness. These dark thoughts begin to invade my mind, such as “Daddy loves her more than me.” Daddy calls these the “demon” thoughts because they are so overwhelming at the moment. Jealousy, unfortunately, is a recurrent emotion, even after years of a relationship. You cannot keep it from popping up now and then, but you can prepare yourself for its arrival. You can lessen the blow when jealousy rears its ugly head.
For starters, communication is essential in every relationship, polyamorous and monogamous alike. Jealousy may show a deep-seated issue within a person, such as insecurity or lack of trust. If I am jealous of one of my sisters when Daddy is with her, I may fear that Daddy will leave me. I may fear he loves her more than me. I have two choices: I can either let it fester and rip a divide between my Dominant and myself or I could open my mouth and confess to Daddy my thoughts. He will help divide the truth from the lies with me. However, it is my job to open up to him because he cannot read my mind. Trust is very important between Dominants and their submissives. Please, do not fear in speaking your mind because it may relieve some of your feelings.
Another way to head jealousy off at the pass is to avoid the triggers that cause you to feel jealous. I know that when Daddy is with one of the others and I have nothing occupying my time, I tend to focus on his absence. Focusing on his absence causes me to focus on why he is absent. Thus, I must always keep myself busy when he is away. I will either hang out with a friend, delve into my writing, or something else I enjoy. Keeping busy distracts my mind from focusing on Daddy.
Another trigger that I have is when Daddy refers to one of the others as ‘his girl.’ I have the automatic reaction to pout and remind him that I am his girl too. However, he already knows this and reminding him would just be bratty of me anyway. Whenever I hear him speak fondly of them, I have to remember that he loves me, that he chose me; just as he chose them. So, I devised a tiny system to help counter this. In my bedroom, you would find tiny post-it notes taped to my mirror with messages such as “Daddy loves me,” “I belong to Daddy,” and “His little one.” I read these on a daily basis and they sink deep within my heart. The messages really help me when I feel jealous of another. Daddy will even send me texts throughout the day that reminds me of his love.
Jealousy is a very normal human emotion. It occurs when you feel you are going to lose something that you have. However, I have found these tips to be very helpful in managing it. Sometimes I feel it on a daily basis. And other times it may stay away for weeks. Jealousy occurs within new relationships and reappears years later in well-seasoned relationships. However, the health of your relationship is determined on how well you can tame the green-eyed monster. I hope these tips will help you!
DeliciousVixen is just a little girl from Tennessee, starting her life over after difficult circumstances. Her Daddy is her rock and she loves him completely. He is the reason why she has made it this far.